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One night, quite a while ago, K and I were playing rough. He got deep into me, physically and emotionally, was holding me down, hitting me, telling me he owned me — body, mind and soul. I was crying and saying “no”. I was consenting: “no” is not a safe word for us. Though I was crying, . . . → Read More: Safe Word This post will contain spoilers for Terry Pratchett’s Men at Arms. If you haven’t read it, go do so. Read it? Good. Carrot is an alpha, a total sweetheart, and very, very hot. Angua, his lover, considers him her master. Anyone who reads much Terry Pratchett knows it’s not because she’s a woman. (Try to imagine Granny Weatherwax calling . . . → Read More: A Doggie Kind of Love I’ve been having a bit of a problem lately — K’s been too nice. When I suggest something while we’re having sex, he does it, very nearly every time. (This is usually something like “please choke me” or “please hold me down”.) Which is great, except it makes me feel like I have far too much control. I . . . → Read More: I Do Mean Dominate Me The following are the rambling thoughts of a fevered brain. Literally: I have a 100 degree temperature atm. You have been warned. Sometimes I worry that enjoying being held down, tied up, spanked and called names is some kind of elaborate acting out of my own internalized misogyny. We’re saturated in rape culture. Maybe it warped me . . . → Read More: Worry K and I had sex three times yesterday. The last time, he grabbed me and fucked me without foreplay or lube. It was somewhat painful for me, since I wasn’t physically prepared, and it was awfully fun. He’s the one who paid for that today, with a chafed penis. I’m perfectly fine, of course. And have been . . . → Read More: A Reminder Labyrinth was one of my favorite movies when I was a young teenager. It still is. In a fit of pique, the heroine, Sarah, wishes the goblins would take her baby brother away, not knowing that her favorite story is real, that she’s the protaganist, and that the Goblin King loves her and will grant her wish. . . . → Read More: You have no power over me K used me three times the day before yesterday, including once at 7 AM when I really didn’t want to be used. (Though of course he still had my full consent.) Yesterday, I needed to not do anything sexual for most of the day, and I told him so. Sometimes I need to live in a . . . → Read More: Role Reversal Last night, K and I roleplayed a long, involved ravishment scenario. I told him that he couldn’t be too rough, too cruel, or too frightening. He held me down, hurt me, threatened me, and said I was only good for fucking. The things he said and did finally made me cry. I had never cried while “in . . . → Read More: Hurt and Comfort This post has been a long time coming. Everyone is allowed to have limits. Even if they’re submissive. Even if they’re submissive women. Everyone needs to respect other people’s limits. Even if they’re dominant. Even if they’re dominant men. In fact, I think submissives need to be particularly aware of our limits, and dominants need to be particularly careful . . . → Read More: Limit Break I have a tummy. It is not small. When I was in my mid-20s, my tummy was flat. I wasn’t eating enough — I didn’t have an eating disorder, but I was terrible at taking care of myself. As I started heading toward my 30s, and eating rationally, my tummy grew a bit, but I could still . . . → Read More: My tummy |
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