Here’s a quick rundown of some of the sex products I’ve tried, and my opinions of them. 4 stars is the highest, 0 is the lowest (obviously).
4 stars (technically 2 stars, a star cluster and a supernova): my highest rating. This product exceeds expectations, there’s something astounding about it, and it gets my highest recommendation.
3 stars: an excellent product. Does what it’s supposed to do, and does it well.
2 stars: this product is okay. Either it didn’t do much for me, but I think people with different tastes might really like it, or it’s overpriced for its performance, or it just doesn’t have that oomph to push it up to three stars.
1 star: I didn’t like this product, and can’t recommend it to anyone.
ZERO stars — I think there is something wrong with any zero-star product. It hurts when it’s not supposed to, it doesn’t work right, etc.
Njoy Fun Wand ****
Vixen Spur **** It’s Vixskin. Great for vaginal play, perfect for anal play, you should get one.
Tantus Curve ****
Tantus Compact **** A slim silicone dildo with wonderful little ridges. Flexible, with a firmer head than shaft. If I could only have one sex toy (the horror!), this would be it. It seems to have a magnetic attraction to my g-spot, the ridges feel beautiful when thrusting, it bends easily to stimulate both my g-spot and clitoris. This is my toy of choice for my boyfriend to use on me, since it’s so comfortable. Also awesome in the bum.
Ophoria Pleasure No. 6 **** Beautiful and highly pleasurable.
Tantus Theta **** A curved, slim dildo with a tulip-shaped pointy “head”. This is my main kegel exerciser, and my favorite vibrating toy as well. It sensitizes and massages the vagina like an internal caress. I love to leave this in for a long time. And, amazingly, sex feels better after I use it.
Tantus Vamp ***
Happy Valley Perk *** About the size of an average penis, this firm silicone dildo is fun for thrusting, both slow and fast. It comes with a medium-strength bullet to place in the hole at the bottom. It’s an excellent all-around dildo, made by an eco-friendly company.
Fun Factory Spring ****
Doc Johnson Velvet Touch Vibrator **** Hard plastic vibe coated in smooth, sensuous velvet cote. When I want to get off hard and fast, this is what I turn to. The range of vibrations should please most people, and it’s very inexpensive. A good first vibe.
Laya Spot *** I adore this vibe, but it isn’t for everyone.
Ellove Vibrator ***
Blue Venus ***
Solar Bullet ***
Berman Center Delilah Clitoral Vibrator *** Gentle, flat-headed smooth plastic clitoral vibe. Especially fun for bathtime and foreplay.
Pirates Pendant Vibe ** Not a great vibe, not a great necklace.
California Exotics Petit Ami OW. It looks sweet and gentle, and the vibrations are pretty light, but they buzzzzz. Which, to me, hurts. Feels like nothing for teasing, feels like pins in my clitoris.
Sportsheets Under the Bed Restraint System *** Our first bondage set, and it’s a good one.
Fetish Fantasy Beaded Silk Position Rope ** Good for 2 positions, uncomfortable for the one most advertised on the box.
Maximus Lubricant **** Water-based, clean-smelling lube. Thick and long-lasting, but washes away easily. I love this stuff. It tastes terrible, though.
Erotic Massage: The Touch of Love by Dr. Kenneth Ray Stubbs and Louise-Andree Sauinier. **** Easy-to-do all over body massage that’s relaxing, sensual and arousing, but the best part of this book? Female genital massage. My boyfriend also enjoys the male genital massages, but not as much as I like the female ones. They are incredible. Phenomenal.
Kama Sutra Cherry Almond Oil of Love *** Slightly warming, edible oil. Too sticky for massage, but great for foreplay. I like using it while giving oral sex to my boyfriend; while its taste isn’t too strong, it masks the taste of his natural lubrication.
Pink Unity Lubricant * Hybrid silicone and water-based lubricant with the worst of both worlds.