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The following are the rambling thoughts of a fevered brain. Literally: I have a 100 degree temperature atm. You have been warned. Sometimes I worry that enjoying being held down, tied up, spanked and called names is some kind of elaborate acting out of my own internalized misogyny. We’re saturated in rape culture. Maybe it warped me . . . → Read More: Worry So many people want to tell women how to have, and not have, orgasms. Freud said clitoral orgasms were “immature”. The one and only right way to orgasm was with a penis in your vagina. This mindset still persists to some extent: the sine qua non of orgasms, for women, is supposed to be penis in . . . → Read More: The “Right Way” to Orgasm So, say you’re walking down the street, minding your own business. Susanna and the Elders by Artemisia Gentileschi, 1610 Dressed for work in a knee-length skirt, a blouse and high heels. You get catcalled. Some people, men and women both, will say this was your fault for wearing a skirt and high heels. Slut. Say you get groped . . . → Read More: It is not your fault I’ve been looking at posts and articles about feminine submission. Some are rather nice: they talk about how a woman can be a feminist and sexually submissive, for instance, or tell personal stories, or talk about what submission means to the writer. Others are not so nice. These come in two major groups: the first claims that a . . . → Read More: All women are NOT submissive I haven’t been keeping up with the sex blogging community this week, since I’ve been gone. Now I’ve come back and there’s some sort of kerfuffle about a supposed “in crowd”, and the people who are accused of being exclusive and cliqueish have ALL been totally awesome, supportive, kind, and did I mention awesome to me? . . . → Read More: Politeness? A woman is treated poorly by a man, or her relationship with a man doesn’t work out the way she wants, or she learns about a man or men doing something horrific, usually to women or children. There are a few different ways women commonly go with this. One is to say that . . . → Read More: On being a feminist who loves men I went to lunch with my mother today, and she said she wonders what “middle-aged female academics” (which most of her friends are) could get from sex toys. Then she answered her own question: “I suppose if they want to spice things up.” Very true, but it doesn’t go to the heart of the matter. We have . . . → Read More: Self-Love: Own Your Body Every woman knows what it’s like to be accused of emotionalism during an argument. Whether the person with whom you disagree claims you’re “on the rag”, that you’re “an angry girl”, that you’re “overly emotional”, “not logical”, “overreacting”, “humorless” — we all have plenty of examples. It’s an age-old tactic to minimize and berate, to turn . . . → Read More: Emotion |
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