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One night, quite a while ago, K and I were playing rough. He got deep into me, physically and emotionally, was holding me down, hitting me, telling me he owned me — body, mind and soul. I was crying and saying “no”. I was consenting: “no” is not a safe word for us. Though I was crying, . . . → Read More: Safe Word Slavery exists in the real world. It’s horrific. If K were literally my master, I would do anything and everything in my power to free myself, though I would probably fail, because slavery rests on the slave having no power. If I were truly his slave — if I could not legally, or physically, or psychologically . . . → Read More: Master and Slave? This post has been a long time coming. Everyone is allowed to have limits. Even if they’re submissive. Even if they’re submissive women. Everyone needs to respect other people’s limits. Even if they’re dominant. Even if they’re dominant men. In fact, I think submissives need to be particularly aware of our limits, and dominants need to be particularly careful . . . → Read More: Limit Break (Note: the following post should not be taken as advice. It is only my personal experience.) “Don’t beat yourself up.” That is what therapists have told me, self-help books have told me, friends and family have told me. Telling yourself how terrible you are is self-defeating, it paralyzes you, it doesn’t help. You . . . → Read More: Don’t Beat Yourself Up I’ve gotten a few messages from women who feel a need for sexual submission, but don’t know how to tell their partners. (They are all, like me, women in serious relationships with men, so this post is going to be tilted in that direction, though I hope it will help others as well.) I can give . . . → Read More: So you want to be a submissive K and I aren’t experts when it comes to flogging. The Pink Medium Rubber Whip that Babeland sent me to review is only our third flogger. I worried that the pink color would detract from the experience when K wielded it, though he doesn’t care a bit. As gender-savvy as I like to think I am, . . . → Read More: Pink Medium Rubber Whip Review for Babeland Toys The other day I was talking about sexuality, BDSM in particular, with someone who was pretty freaked out about it. She voiced a common opinion: “I guess it’s okay so long as it’s consensual, but liking pain can’t be healthy.” She meant “healthy” psychologically. I’ve discovered rather recently that I myself like pain in a controlled, loving, . . . → Read More: Coming to terms with BDSM Brilliant post title, huh? OK, I suck at titles. But this has been rattling around in my brain for a while, and I can’t seem to write anything else until I get it out. Very recently — within the past month — I’ve discovered that I’m sexually submissive. “Discovered” is perhaps the wrong term; it’s more like . . . → Read More: Sexually submissive The 21-hour train ride ended at about 12:30 today. I’ve been spending time with K since then, and have discovered that I really like being on the receiving end of a flogger. A lot. This is somewhat surprising to me. Anyway, I have a few reviews to post this week, once I . . . → Read More: I am back! |
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