I asked to review the Sqweel from Fascinations because it’s nothing like any other toy I’ve seen. I think the Sqweel might be the most interesting sex toy I own. Not the best, and certainly not the worst, but LoveHoney tried something different with this little clamshell-”tongue” thing, and I applaud that. It even sort of works.
I like the Sqweel’s packaging. It comes nestled in foam inside a largish metal box. Instructions are included, and absolutely necessary for this toy. Getting the three required AAA batteries in, and cleaning the toy, are simple enough once you’ve figured it out, but without instructions I would have had no clue how to deal with this thing. Every website I can find claims the tongues of the Sqweel are made of silicone, but Adriana tried the flame test on hers (100% silicone won’t melt easily), and it failed. The tongues are most likely a tpr-silicone blend, which, though not as good as 100% silicone, is still a pretty safe material. It doesn’t smell like anything and it doesn’t make my skin burn, so it’s free from phthalates.
The instructions suggest using lots of lube with the Sqweel, and it’s definitely necessary. I turn the Sqweel on its lowest of three settings and drizzle lubricant over the “tongues” to get it ready. The lowest setting is useless for anything else. It’s very slow, but more importantly, when the Sqweel’s tongues touch me on the lowest setting, they stop moving immediately. I don’t enjoy the highest setting; it’s like being whapped repeatedly with little rubbery objects. Plus, the highest setting is seriously loud. It… well, it squeals.
For me, the medium setting is where things get interesting. It’s not 
very loud — once I start playing on this setting I don’t even notice any noise. And yes, it feels like oral sex. Not the most competent or interesting oral sex, but still, I could imagine a guy was going down on me. It’s sort of a tease, though. If someone performed oral sex only by licking, and licking at the same steady speed the whole time, they’d feel very much like the Sqweel. (And desperately need to be educated about how to perform cunnilingus.)
I can orgasm from the Sqweel, but I prefer to use it for arousal and fantasy. Even for fantasy, it falls a little short; it feels like a tongue, but who wants to fantasize about someone who isn’t all that good? Another big problem is that it obstructs my vagina. That’s another way in which the Sqweel falls short of simulating oral sex, for me, because I want fingers in me when someone’s going down on me. Without insertion, I rarely have truly satisfying orgasms. Thankfully, unlike some other reviewers, I don’t have to hold my labia apart while playing with the Sqweel; it accesses my clitoris just fine without help.
The Sqweel feels good. It’s wonderfully different. It needs improvement, though. Its “tongues” need to work in some kind of pattern, rather than a boring steady pace, and it needs to be redesigned to be compatible with dildos, fingers, penises, and other insertables.
LoveHoney took a chance with the Sqweel, and it’s a unique and enjoyable toy. I hope for a Sqweel 2 that’s pure awesome, but for now, I’m pretty impressed that anyone was able to make a toy that feels this close to oral sex. Click here to get a Sqweel for yourself.
Thanks, Fascinations, for sending me the Sqweel to review! Fascinations has lots of vibrators and other sex toys, so check them out.
Your cat does not seem very amused with the Sqweel, but I’m glad that it worked out a little better for you than for the other people I’ve read reviews of this toy from. I’ve been really fascinated with the Sqweel for a while but never enough to try it out particularly because of the problems you’ve brought up about it here. I don’t know if I would particularly enjoy the feeling of being whapped repeatedly by rubbery objects or having the thing stop because my clit is obstructing its movement. Of course that then leaves just the middle setting and well, that just seems boring, like you said.
The Sqweel was turned on at the time, so Reyna was somewhat confused by it.
I think the Sqweel is strictly for women who (like me) fantasize a LOT while playing with toys. I also love how different it is — but it definitely needs improvement and is not for everyone.
Wow, it’s bigger than I thought. Shame about it obstructing the vagina, but I still really want to try it. It’s so different from anything else, and the more I read about it the more intrigued I get.
That cat is so freakin’ confused. Like “what it this? Rotating human part? Silly humans.”
(You always get a comment out of me because of your kitties.
) I did originally come for the review though, I swear.
Thanks for linking me! Ideally, pure silicone won’t melt at all with my flimsy Japanese lighter. d=
The look on Reyna’s face is exactly what mine was when I first opened my Sqweel (having no idea what it looked like).
Hmm… I’m wishy washy about this toy. I’d love to try it out! But for the same reasons as Holly, I’m not so sure I’ll like it. Looks kinda scary/cool at the same time.