We-Vibe II Review for Good Vibrations

When I asked for the We-Vibe II for review from GoodVibes, I didn’t expect to use it quite as intended. First, we do not vibe: K hates the feeling of vibrations on his penis. Second, K’s penis fits me perfectly, so I suspected adding anything to my vagina during penis-in-vagina sex would hurt me quite a bit, and that it would also prevent me from feeling his foreskin against my clitoris. But I hoped the We-Vibe II would be a good hands-free vibe, and fun to wear during anal sex. Sadly, it failed spectacularly at both those tasks.

The We-Vibe II is rechargeable, silicone, and has nine speeds of vibration that are surprisingly strong for such a small toy. It’s marketed as a “couples vibrator” (read: heterosexual couples) and as the first couples’ toy “that can be worn while making love” (apparently cock rings and strap-ons don’t count). The thinner end is meant to be inserted into your vagina while the larger end sit on your clitoris, after which, if you follow the instruction booklet exactly, a male-bodied person puts his penis in your vagina, while he’s on top of you in the missionary position.

After charging my We-Vibe for 24 hours, I eagerly took it into the bedroom to try alone. I turned it on and worked it into my vagina. It didn’t stimulate my g-spot, but that’s okay, I like general vaginal stimulation as well. But I encountered the first problem right away. This vibe is not hands-free, at least not for me. I have to press the clitoral part down to get it to vibrate on my clit rather than on my labia. I tried slipping it between my lips, but that was just uncomfortable, and it didn’t stay. It does feel nice when I press it against my clit, and I had a fun little orgasm that way. Then I tried to change speeds.

The button on this thing is tiny, and it is embedded into the clitoral part. To change vibration settings, I have to pull the vibe away from my body and press the button in exactly the right way. The patterns feel pretty good when I can get to them, but not good enough to be worth that hassle. I don’t know how it would be possible to change vibration settings during sex. Also, after about fifteen minutes of playing with the vibe alone, pressing it down the whole time, my clit became numb. I don’t have any other vibrators that are this expensive that numb my clit after such a ridiculously short time. The one other (very cheap) vibe I use that numbs me is strong enough to make me come in about a minute, which the We-Vibe II can’t do.

I still had hopes for this toy during anal sex. We tried some anal play first; I had to hold the We-Vibe against me, of course, but it felt okay. Not as good as other vibes I press against my clit during anal sex, but then, other clit vibes don’t sit in my vagina at the same time. However, when K tried to slide a dildo in and out of my ass with any real speed, I had to stop him. The We-Vibe II is small, and coated in silicone, but it is not soft. It hurt — the dildo felt like it was going to get stuck, and the We-Vibe ground into my pelvic bone. Finally, K couldn’t even penetrate my butt with the toy inside my vagina because he could feel the vibrations and they turned him off too much. I removed the We-Vibe and grabbed a good clitoral vibrator so we could actually enjoy ourselves.

Another day, another experiment: could K even get his penis into my vagina with the We-Vibe already in it? I asked him to try, and he looked down and said, “there’s no way. It’s blocked.” I asked him to just put a finger in me at first, and he said, “are you sure? I think it’s going to be uncomfortable.” Yes, I was sure, I was curious. He worked a finger into my vagina and OW. The We-Vibe slammed against the front of my vaginal wall. It hurt. My beloved metal toy doesn’t hurt me, but this thing does.

For my very final test, I put the We-Vibe II in, turned it on, and sat at my computer. I thought maybe that position would force it to clamp onto my clit better. It didn’t. The toy didn’t even arouse me.

Some reviewers love this vibe. Glamour magazine calls it, “a sure-fire way to have an orgasm with your man,” which is of course ludicrous: all women certainly don’t orgasm from the same things, even if we have, or want, “a man”. K has lots of ways to give me surefire orgasms. For us, this toy prevents them, it doesn’t create them.

This is the part of the review where I discuss to whom I would recommend a toy, even if it doesn’t work for me. For the We-Vibe II: no one. I cannot in good conscience recommend it to anyone. It might possibly work for your body, but it’s an expensive gamble. Plus the control button is a major pain.

Thanks, Good Vibrations, for sending me this toy to review. GoodVibes has a large selection of vibrators and other sex toys to play with, so check them out!