Love Lips! Discreet Vibrator Review for Good Vibrations

I don’t wear makeup. I’ll sometimes wear a little lipgloss, but that’s it. However, the Love Lips Discreet Vibrator from Good Vibrations caught my eye because it’s cute, small, and discreet. Unfortunately, looks are all it’s got going for it.

The Love Lips vibe comes in a cute (there’s that word again) heart-shaped package, which also contains a little pouch to put the vibe in. I’ve never known anyone to put a tube of lipstick in a pouch, but it’s still a nice touch. The vibrator’s made of hard plastic, so it’s non-porous and phthalate-free. The tube has a velvety coating, but the “lipstick” part that you’re actually supposed to place against your clitoris is smooth. The vibe takes one AAA battery, which is included.

The positive first impression the packaging gave me quickly faded. Getting the battery into the tube is a serious pain. I had to use a screwdriver. This made me grouchy. If I have to use a screwdriver to get a sex toy to work, it had better give me an amazing experience.

I took the Love Lips vibe to bed and told it, “okay, give me an amazing experience now.” It wasn’t bad at first; the Love Lips’ one vibration speed is buzzy, but not so buzzy it hurts. It was even arousing. But every time I felt like I was going to come, I couldn’t… quite… get…. there. And I’m incredibly easy to get off; this is the first sex toy I’ve tried that has failed to give me an orgasm. Finally, I gave up and talked myself into an orgasm, but the stimulation I was getting was so subpar, it was a tiny, pitiable orgasm that just made me grumpier.

I used the vibe a second time about a week later, just to make sure I wasn’t having a bad day the first time. I couldn’t get myself to orgasm with it at all the second time. I finally gave up and grabbed different toys, and while using them I realized: some of my favorite toys don’t make me orgasm quickly, but they’re very pleasurable to use until they do. The Love Lips vibe made me want to orgasm almost immediately, since I didn’t enjoy the way it made me feel enough to want to prolong the experience. But it couldn’t follow through.

I imagine someone taking a lipstick vibrator to work and ducking into the bathroom during a long meeting to give herself a pick-me-up. First, this vibe’s too loud for that; someone in the next stall will hear it. Second, a quick pick-me-up vibe needs to do the job efficiently. Annoyed and horny is no way to get through work. At a club, the vibrator’s sound would be muffled by the music — but again, I can’t imagine it getting most women off.

Get this vibe if you’d like to torture someone by arousing them but not letting them orgasm. Or you could give it to someone you don’t like as a passive-aggressive “gift”.

Thank you, Good Vibrations, for sending me the Love Lips Discreet Vibrator to review. GoodVibes has a large selection of discreet vibrators and other sex toys to choose from; click on the banner below to check them out.